


Bleeding Lines

by JJTheAgent



Category: NCIS
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, I mean, Self-Harm, its sad, just read it please, save it until 3am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-02 22:59:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10954500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JJTheAgent/pseuds/JJTheAgent
Summary: McGee goes through a rough patch. Gibbs takes care of him.





	1. Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> So hey! I'm JJ, I'm 14, and this is the first fic I've ever written. Have fun. I'm not ok. I promise.

As Tony and Ziva grabbed their bags and left the bullpen, Tim ran through the night ahead of him in his mind. Hide the letters, leave for home and end it all. It was as simple as that. He stood up and opened his desk, picking up the bundle of letters and tucking them in his pocket. As he started towards the elevator he was met by the last person he had wanted to talk to that night. He stepped into the elevator and leaned over to press the button for the first floor, trying to ignore his boss standing silently next to him.  
"What're ya still doing here McGee, the case ended a few hours ago."  
" J..Just dropping some things off before I go boss."  
"Well ok then, don't be too long McGee. We're on duty tomorrow remember?"  
"Ok boss. I'll see you tomorrow."  
That was probably the biggest lie he would ever tell. As he delivered all the notes to their respective agent's desk, he thought about how the team would feel. He knew Tony wouldn't care. Everything the senior agent said was about him these days. Ziva would surely blame herself, like she did for everything, but he knew she was strong enough to get over it quickly. Ducky would shake his head, give his condolences to the team and arrange the funeral. Of course, Abby would cry the most, have nightmares, hate herself for his decision. But out of all of them he knew Gibbs would take it the hardest. After he lost his family, and then Kate, Tim knew he couldn't lose another agent. But he decided that if he wasn't there to witness the pain of his teammates, he would never know how they dealt with it, so it didn't matter. It was all going to end tonight, and nothing was going to change his mind.


	2. Decisions

Gibbs knew something was up in that elevator, he knew his team too well. He knew that Tim was insecure, shy, and most of all awkward, but something was eating away at his brain and he couldn't tell what it was. Tim seemed hurried, frantic earlier, and Gibbs was getting worried about him. What was wrong? The latest case hadn't been easy, a young gay marine thrown overboard by a homophobic captain. No one in the team was ever happy when they got a hate crime case like this, but McGee took it particularly hard on himself. Of course, Gibbs had his suspicions why, but he decided to keep his thoughts to himself for the moment. He never wanted to pressure one of his agents into saying anything they weren't ready to tell him. None the less, Gibbs went back up to the bullpen to collect his car keys, realising he left them in his desk. 

************

McGee took out his keys and unlocked his front door, stepping inside and wiping his muddy shoes off on the rug. He slipped them off and continued to take his suit and tie off, dumping them on the sofa on his way to the bathroom. Automatically grabbing the razors, he took that as a sign that his time had come. Turning the tap to fill the bathtub, he unboxed the razors and stripped himself of his socks, shirt and trousers, leaving himself standing in his boxers. Testing the water to check the temperature, he decided it was just right and climbed in, flinching slightly at the heat. This was the night. And he wasn't going to back down.


	3. Actions

As Gibbs entered the bullpen he realised McGee had left his badge, I.D. and gun on his desk. This was strange for the young agent, and he resolved to take them with him until tomorrow morning, where he would see Tim again. He turned back to his own desk and opened the top drawer, fumbling around for his keys. Instead of those, however, he felt a letter press against his hand. He picked it up and read the front: "To Gibbs". It was the probie's handwriting. He ripped open the letter in full force and skim read through it all. The message was clear; it was a suicide note. Written in past tense, so of course it wasn't intended to be read until Tim was dead. He stuffed it in his pocket, grabbed his keys and ran down the stairs to his car as fast as he could. He was not going to let this happen to his family, not today. He slammed his car door behind him and accelerated as quickly as possible, but he already had his doubts. He swore at himself, he should've noticed sooner. How did he not realise? He stopped outside McGee's house five minutes later, but he feared he was too late.

************

McGee made one cut. Two cuts. Three cuts on each arm now. Slowly getting closer to the jackpot, the one artery that would give him the prize that he desired. But he was tired tonight, so he took it slowly. He convinced himself there was no rush, that no one was going to barge in tonight. No Tony wanting to borrow a movie, no Ziva bringing leftover lasagna, no Jimmy wanting to play late night video games. Most of all, no Gibbs calling about another dead body. He was all alone with his thoughts, and he enjoyed that. He was free, nothing tying him down anymore. Thoughts ran through his head, about death, and how the team would be glad he was finally gone. But he was ripped out of his thoughts by a knock at his door. He played it off, it was probably the old lady complaining about someone to him again. She would leave soon enough, and he would be left alone. Another knock. And another. And another. Knocking turned into barging, and barging turned into breaking. He heard his boss's voice, and he heard someone crying out for help. His vision turned white and he lost consciousness before he could even realise the one crying was him.


	4. Consequences

Gibbs rushed over to Tim's side and drained the bathtub, desperately tugging his own shirt off to plug his wounds while he looked for bandage. He was crying, sobbing even, and his hectic movements weren't helping him. His hands shook as he dialled 911 with his fingers, frozen from shock and fear. He couldn't lose another agent, not again. His voice was unsteady and broken as he gave his address to the ambulance, and he dropped the blood-covered phone on the floor to help his agent. He covered up the cuts and dressed them, and, knowing there was nothing else for him to do, cradled Tim in his arms and wept. Wept for everything he couldn't do. Wept for everything he could've done. He couldn't remember his own name, or where he worked, or where he was. All he knew was that his son was dying in his arms and it was all his fault.

************

Tim woke to the sound of hubbub, people all around him. The last thing he remembered was Gibbs' steely blue eyes, but not in the way he was used to. They were filled with fear, sorrow, anger and guilt. They were filled with so many emotions, so many things he wanted to say. His vision was back to normal, and he flickered his eyes open to see his surroundings. It was clean, white, almost holy. He wondered if he had reached heaven. He squeezed his eyes shut and opened them properly. He knew it was too good to be true. A hospital, filled with old guys and toddlers. He felt a pair of strong, protective arms wrapped around his neck, and he looked up to see Gibbs staring back at him.  
"B..boss...I..."  
"Tim."  
"Y..yeah?"  
"You really think you're worthless?"  
"What?"  
"It's carved into your belly. If you don't think it's true, then why is it there?"  
"Look, boss.."  
"Gibbs. Call me Gibbs."  
"Gibbs.. I think it's true. I'm so sorry.."  
"No. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not realising you were in so much pain. I'm sorry for not realising how much you really meant to me. I'm sorry for not talking to you."  
"Thanks boss, but I'm the one who tried to kill myself. Don't get too attached to me, you'll have to arrest me soon."  
"Tim, you're not going to jail. Because you're my son, and my family comes first. I love you Tim. I'm always here. Please don't forget that. Ever."  
"Ok." Tim let out a weak smile and rest his head on Gibbs' chest. The rest of the team had no idea what had happened, so it was apparent that he had some calls to make. Or he could make an excuse for Tim and make sure the team never know. Either way, Gibbs would not be leaving Tim's side, and until he woke up, he was gonna hold him tight and never let go.

************  
The End


End file.
